How To Talk Dirty: 9 Tips Straight From Sex Experts

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As you can see, there are so many different situations where you can use dirty talk to amp up the sexual tension and turn your man on. In fact, using dirty talk is one of my favorite sexting tips. This chapter, Chapter 3 is going to focus on the different dirty things you can say to your man depending on the situation. Sometimes, things get said in the heat of the moment that you don’t necessarily mean — and that’s not the end of the world.

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Dirty Talk Examples For When All You Need Is One Word

  • The brain is considered a more powerful sexual organ than even male and female genitalia because it’s where sex drive stems from.
  • You can do it with a long-term lover or a one-night stand.
  • “The best opener involves taking the focus off of you,” says sexologist Megan Stubbs.
  • You will most likely need to whisper these dirty ideas and lines in your man’s ears.
  • Both men and women reported high levels of enjoyment for mutualistic talk (higher than individualistic talk).
  • With a little practice, you can soon be amping up the intimacy and passion in the bedroom by talking dirty with your partner.

Learning how to talk dirty should be fun, so try to relax and go with the flow. First of all, as with most things, it’s a good idea to start slowly and build things up over time. If you and your partner are completely new to the world of dirty talk, you might not be sure of what ‘intensity’ you like.

Where we learned how to talk dirty

Having the added distance of a screen can also make it easier to speak up if your partner says something that doesn’t work for you. After you’ve started practicing your “sex noises,” you can get more creative. When it comes to dirty talk, an easy onramp is to say what you want or like. Given how much research is out there on the subject of sexual communication, it is surprising that very little of it has addressed the subject of dirty talk.

Shoot Your Best Shot with Dr. Josh Gonzalez

But it at least gives you some material to work with until you feel more comfortable coming up with your own original material. You don’t have to be explicit.It’s easy to think that dirty talk is all vulgarities, but it can be far from that—the “dirt” is in the details. Begin by describing how your partner makes you feel—just verbalizing the fact that they’re turning you on is a solid start. Or try asking them what they’d like you to do to them or describe what you’d like them to do to you. Just like allowing the physical parts of sex to progress slowly, you probably don’t want to go zero to 100 with your dirty talk either. Instead, let it support everything else that’s happening in the bedroom.

So, where do people learn the language of good dirty talk? According to 61% of the respondents, it was inspired by spur-of-the-moment events such as what their partner was doing at the time. The next top inspirations for men and women were previous partners and pornography. Know that you don’t have to dive right into graphic dirty talk if it feels awkward or odd—in fact, dirty talk doesn’t even have to be that dirty to be effective. Dr. Tara breaks it into three different intensity levels, from beginner to advanced.

It doesn’t ruin the mood to check in… it enhances the feelings of safety, comfort, and connection. Make sure you check in with your partner (outside of the bedroom, when you aren’t being sexual with each other) to see if there’s any words that they want you to avoid during your dirty talk. If you want to compliment your partner in your dirty talk, you don’t necessarily have to talk about long his member is or how voluptuous her breasts are.

You can do it with a long-term lover or a one-night stand. You can talk dirty via text message, phone call, or FaceTime. You can do it before sex as foreplay or post-sex as aftercare. Dirty talk can be enjoyed even in the total absence of sex, just for fun rather than as a means to an end. When you’re out in public, you won’t be having sex, but it’s still a very good time to talk dirty to your man as you can build massive amounts of sexual tension with him…perfect for when you get home!

Just like sex toys, they can be tried on and discarded depending on mood, without ever having to commit to any of them. “You don’t have to put so much pressure on yourself to just be one thing,” Manta says. Join 20,000+ people and get regular relationship-improving wisdom straight to your email inbox by clicking here. At first, the simple act of opening your mouth and letting these words fall out can feel like standing on the edge of a cliff.

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